Because I'm A Fangirl
It feels good to be not-so-sick today; even though I spent most of the morning in the bathroom, I think I'm feeling better over-all. There are so many things I want to talk about. I want to finish my thank-you posts, write in my anime blog, and post about my day...but I can't possibly fit everything into one post without making it sound really disjointed. The next "thank-you" post is going to be for my Oneesama, so I want to take the time to draft that one properly; it has to be really good and honest for her, after all. I want to think on it and express my feelings clearly.
Because I want to write about something, I'm going to choose to write about some fandom.![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
0h_my_juliet has inspired me with her post on her love for L.M.C. She writes about a love for the band that is much more than a passing interest; the band and their music represents something in the core of her self, and it's now a part of her that she's fallen in love with. The band is more than a band to her; they are her interest that keeps her going. As she says, everyone has at least one interest like this. And for me, it's a particular anime: Shoujo Kakumei Utena.
Utena (or SKU) has had such a deep and lasting impact on me, on how I see the world. It's not just another shoujo series and it's not just another anime to me. It's something so much deeper; it's weird and funny and disturbing and deep and beautiful all at the same time. It's message embodies the kind of person I want to be, the kind of person I'm working towards becoming. It's message makes me get up one more time after I've fallen down. SKU embodies the kind of feminism that makes me proud of the movement; it's not a show that talks about women's rights only, but about the rights of everyone, and about the sacredness of the life and desires of the individual. It's not simply a yuri show, but a show about all kinds of love. While seemingly melancholy, it's message is the most positive one I've ever seen in an anime, and it's comparable only to the messages expressed in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which I call Utena Live Action With Vampires). In addition, if it wasn't for my love of SKU, I wouldn't have ever visited Empty Movement or joined In the Rose Garden, the SKU forums. They are one of the best sites/forums on the internet and are frequented by some of the most wonderful people ever. period. (Gio and Yasha and everyone else, I love you so much I can't express it in words. I could keep on saying it forever and it wouldn't ever come close to the feelings in my heart.)
I love this show so much that I'm determined to buy the new Japanese Language Only DVD/CD boxed sets, which will set me back $750.00. I don't know how on Earth I'm going to actually afford these, and of course everyone thinks I'm crazy. I need that money for college expenses. I need to be sensible. I need to be an adult. But you know something? I don't care. I need these. I really do. I need to hold them in my arms and cry; I need to watch the episodes over and over again and listen to the music on repeat for months. I need to listen to Ikuhara talk about things that don't make any sense in his super-tight leather pants. I need all of this, even if it's in Japanese and I can't understand it anyway. I WILL LEARN JAPANESE SO I CAN UNDERSTAND. Anyone who's watched the show and affected by in the way that I have may understand my need to throw almost $800 at box sets of an animated series. Everyone else thinks I'm wasteful, childish and crazy, with the exception of a few awesome people who know who they are. :3
Those boxed sets will be mine. I just need to figure out a plan to get them without major financial pain (such as Christmas and Birthday gifts for many, many years). I'm going to wait until I've figure this out logically before I go throwing cash at Ikuhara's bank account, but the purchases will happen one way or another, even if I have to wait years to get the merchandise in my hands. Because I need them. Watching SKU is like waking up and seeing the world and wanting to be in it for the first time in a long time. It's like breathing. And it's incredibly important to me.
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The Maria-Sama Ga Miteru boxed sets are up for pre-order too; I'm absolutely getting those, even though they take a back seat to SKU. It's number two in my fandom obsession list.
aggravatedBecause I want to write about something, I'm going to choose to write about some fandom.
0h_my_juliet has inspired me with her post on her love for L.M.C. She writes about a love for the band that is much more than a passing interest; the band and their music represents something in the core of her self, and it's now a part of her that she's fallen in love with. The band is more than a band to her; they are her interest that keeps her going. As she says, everyone has at least one interest like this. And for me, it's a particular anime: Shoujo Kakumei Utena.Utena (or SKU) has had such a deep and lasting impact on me, on how I see the world. It's not just another shoujo series and it's not just another anime to me. It's something so much deeper; it's weird and funny and disturbing and deep and beautiful all at the same time. It's message embodies the kind of person I want to be, the kind of person I'm working towards becoming. It's message makes me get up one more time after I've fallen down. SKU embodies the kind of feminism that makes me proud of the movement; it's not a show that talks about women's rights only, but about the rights of everyone, and about the sacredness of the life and desires of the individual. It's not simply a yuri show, but a show about all kinds of love. While seemingly melancholy, it's message is the most positive one I've ever seen in an anime, and it's comparable only to the messages expressed in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which I call Utena Live Action With Vampires). In addition, if it wasn't for my love of SKU, I wouldn't have ever visited Empty Movement or joined In the Rose Garden, the SKU forums. They are one of the best sites/forums on the internet and are frequented by some of the most wonderful people ever. period. (Gio and Yasha and everyone else, I love you so much I can't express it in words. I could keep on saying it forever and it wouldn't ever come close to the feelings in my heart.)
I love this show so much that I'm determined to buy the new Japanese Language Only DVD/CD boxed sets, which will set me back $750.00. I don't know how on Earth I'm going to actually afford these, and of course everyone thinks I'm crazy. I need that money for college expenses. I need to be sensible. I need to be an adult. But you know something? I don't care. I need these. I really do. I need to hold them in my arms and cry; I need to watch the episodes over and over again and listen to the music on repeat for months. I need to listen to Ikuhara talk about things that don't make any sense in his super-tight leather pants. I need all of this, even if it's in Japanese and I can't understand it anyway. I WILL LEARN JAPANESE SO I CAN UNDERSTAND. Anyone who's watched the show and affected by in the way that I have may understand my need to throw almost $800 at box sets of an animated series. Everyone else thinks I'm wasteful, childish and crazy, with the exception of a few awesome people who know who they are. :3
Those boxed sets will be mine. I just need to figure out a plan to get them without major financial pain (such as Christmas and Birthday gifts for many, many years). I'm going to wait until I've figure this out logically before I go throwing cash at Ikuhara's bank account, but the purchases will happen one way or another, even if I have to wait years to get the merchandise in my hands. Because I need them. Watching SKU is like waking up and seeing the world and wanting to be in it for the first time in a long time. It's like breathing. And it's incredibly important to me.
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The Maria-Sama Ga Miteru boxed sets are up for pre-order too; I'm absolutely getting those, even though they take a back seat to SKU. It's number two in my fandom obsession list.
Of course, this could be because I've been learning Japanese for so long. So, I'm not sure ^^;
And I'm horribly out of practice. Maybe an idea is to buy the Japanese-language manga first, so you can slowly pick up the words, and combine your love of Utena with learning a language?
Maybe it depends on if you identify with a particular character, or anything at all in the series, strongly?
Mm, I'll turn that on its head: what would a 'good answer' to that question be? I don't think there's 'a good' or 'a bad' answer, so I think you shouldn't worry about it.
It's interesting, really - because to me, you have this feeling of a little sister, the type that people want to protect and help. Mmm.
so, be happy. <3 good luck.
Awh, I inspired a blog from you! I feel so specials! :3
And you go and get that Utena stuff, I think of a lot of people who should own it, you'd be one of them. Because, you're about as nuts for Utena as I am for LM.C.
I spent prolly about .... $800 getting there and back, eating and merch. So, we're about in the same boat.
And, you helped me with mine, when I dig myself out of my hole, I'd like to help you, even if its just a little bit! <3